The message I found under the fridge.

 

We have a few random magnets on our refrigerator door, and every toddler that has been in our home loves to play with them! So I was really excited when I happened to find a deal on some unique wooden letter magnets; (better deal here) and even more thrilled that they did not disappoint at home with the little ones. 

We had the magnets a few weeks when one day I noticed a pink plastic "Q" amongst them.  It clearly did not belong and had no obvious origin.  A few days go by and another plastic letter appeared. You would expect these kinds of things to go missing, but they were multiplying!

While doing dishes yesterday I discovered "Z" (our 23 month old foster love) pushing a few magnets under the front of the fridge.  While helping him retrieve the discarded letters I discovered a few things...

A LOT of dust, 

and more plastic letters!!!

We moved into this rent house back in November, {clearly we overlooked under the fridge on cleaning day} and apparently these were left behind from the previous occupants.

In addition to solving the mystery of the stray magnets, I learned a few things! 

These magnets were not unlike the little boy who discovered them.  They had been left behind, abandoned, forgotten.   For months they were non-existent to those walking right by them.  Then a group, a family came along...something that they could be apart of, and then they were finally back in a situation that they could find purpose.  They had to be cleaned up a little bit, some of them nursed back to "health."  Some came around sooner than others, but all were eventually rescued.

Some may have said our alphabet was complete, but it's even a little bigger now; it looks a little different to some...But some of us don't even notice.

How many magnets are under YOUR fridge???

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May is foster care awareness month. Take this month to learn a few things about this growing need, and discover what YOU can do to help! 

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Who deserves our love more?

 

Having one in our home so close in age as Knox, they have a lot of the same needs...at the SAME time.  Yesterday at one particular time of "need," I felt a tinge of guilt.  I wondered if we were robbing Knox of "love" that belonged to him. Instantly, as I looked into the face of the precious baby girl in my lap, I wondered "where was her love?"  Certainly there was a love that belonged to her as well, And somebody had in fact, robbed her of it.

 Before we ever met him, I began praying that Knox would know how much we love him, but most of all, how much God loves and cares for him. It is up to us to show God's love to all His sweet children, and right now we have been given the privilege to also share the love of a parent to many child in our home through foster care.
 While we will take necessary steps along the way to insure the spiritual, emotional, and physical safety of our biological children; I like to think that our journey through foster care is one way they will witness {and ultimately be a part of} our service to God in carrying out Jesus' commandment to love and care for orphans.
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 Do you love the blanket⬆️? Checkout the Little Bee Co 🐝, where your purchase helps provide blankets to children in US foster care.

They're not My children

When we began the journey of foster care we faced many questions and comments regarding the time when the children leave your home.  Having not yet experienced that heartbreak, the only answer we had was the one revealed to us when God placed this service on our hearts.

"God showed me that even "my own" children, are not my own, and can still be taken from us at anytime."

All children, no matter who they are born to, belong to Him first.  He is so good to give us the privilege to love and care for His most precious creation, the one made in an image of Him.

In July our home grew from a family of 2 to 4 and soon became 5 with the birth of our son.  In November our first placement moved and a month later we said goodbye again and were left with a very empty home.  Many, many tears have been shed, and being mommy and daddy for 6 months and having to say goodbye is possibly the hardest thing we have ever been through.

I started asking myself...

"Can I really do this?"  

"Will I love the next one less because now I know what goodbye feels like?"

"Is this really what He wants us to do?"

Somehow, I found a comfort in the presence of so many questions.  Isn't this EXACTLY what God calls us to? 

The hard, the ugly, the faith building trials...

When we are in a situation so heart wrenching and God is still there...when His hands are almost visible...we cannot help but know He is good, and see His sovereignty over the situation.

Despite "loss" being still so fresh, I know that all the tears in our eyes and scars on our hearts are a worthy sacrifice for the privilege to care for God's children in such an intimate way by welcoming them into our home.

Grief is heavy on our hearts, but there is still room for a little excitement in the unknown details of the next child whom we will share our home, and most of all our heats with. 

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If you would like to learn the many different ways you can serve through foster care, look up your state's DCFS website.

If you are in Arkansas, look up the next info meeting in your area, through the CALL

The Good Father of foster care.

Overnight we became the parents to two sweet girls through foster care.  I would be lying if I said it was everything we were prepared for.  It has been the hardest thing we have done so far, yet I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

On a normal (to us) Thursday we received two separate phone calls that would turn out to be our first two foster placements.  That evening, while eating supper with family, we couldn't help but think about how "normal" and mundane the day/evening was for us, yet our eyes had been opened to the sobering fact that just miles down the road lives were being torn apart and tossed upside down.  In a matter of hours we learned of two separate heartbreaking situations taking place, all while we went along with our everyday lives.  Before the evening was over our household had grown from 2 to 4, when we welcomed a 12 yr old and a 1 yr old into our home.

We are only two months into the "parenting" part of the fostering journey, but one thing, and possible the ONLY thing I know for sure is that God is still always in control.  We have both already shed many tears with and for the young lives in our home, and if it wasn't for the peace and comfort of knowing who holds the future, I honestly don't think I could continue this journey.

Recently the four of us were in the vehicle with KLOVE playing as always.  Chris Tomlin's song "Good Good Father" was on and in that moment when I heard the two little voices in the back seat singing along, I immediately was overwhelmed with emotion.  The depth of that moment, knowing that two young souls, who may possibly have never known a "good father,"  were hearing (and singing) the gospel of the greatest Father we could ever have.

I will never forget that moment.  In the moments when this journey seems impossible to endure, I will forever remember those little voices in the backseat.  My prayer is that they to, wherever their path leads, with always remember He is a Good Good Father.

busy, busy, busy

Wonder where I have been!?

Well the last time we met here I mentioned that we were about to have our final Foster Home walk through...

Then it happened, our phone rang and things forever changed.  We officially began the BUSIEST SUMMER OF OUR LIVES with the addition of two precious kiddos!

The garden fell victim to desertion (and too much rain) shortly after.  So thankful for the abundant harvest early in the year (especially since we grew by two mouths!)  We are still getting okra and peas, but that's about it!

The puppies have grown up! Fast!!!

Brett finished his 3 weeks at church camp and then we squeezed in a week long mission trip, a week at nationals, a week of VBS, a family reunion, watermelon festival fundraiser, 2 camping trips, "back to school" (our first time to experience that on the parental end) and a baby anyday!!!

Bring on fall!!!  & BABY PLEASE!!! (3 days to due date)

Holes made Whole: 2 become 3, or 4

If you would have asked us in May what November and December looked like for us we would have spoke briefly of turkey and Christmas parties, followed by an anxious, exciting, nervous conversation about "nesting" and preparing our lives for our family to become 3 around the 17th of December!

But just a month later it would have been a totally different conversation.

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Before we ever got married Brett and I talked of adopting and other ways to "care for the orphans."  Brett brought up fostering a couple times but selfishly my heart said no! I didn't think I could handle caring for a child that could at anytime be stripped away from us.  Loving a child as your own for a week or up to year and at any unexpected moment they be removed from our lives.  I wasn't prepared to test my heart in that way.

After we got married and understood the possibility of infertility, my heart was content with that, broken, but content. I knew adopting was an option. 

During a conversation with a particular friend about her health and ability to safely carry a baby, I had even made statements like, "as heart breaking as infertility is, I can't imagine how much more challenging it would be to get pregnant and loose the baby."

So months later when I found myself in the midst of that exact trial, I questioned God, "why would He take a heart content with absence, and tear it with loss?"

Eventually, He would answer that question for me...

My heart was also selfishly content with disobeying a very important commandment... to care for orphans

I was only willing to do this on my own terms, within my own comfort-zone.

My number one reason for not wanting to foster was because those children could be taken from me at anytime.  Through miscarriage, God showed me that even "my own" children, are not my own, and can still be taken from us at anytime.  Children are a blessing, despite how they come to us, and every child deserves a loving home that points them in the direction of our perfect Heavenly Father.  We can not let fear, or loss of control keep us from God's will for our lives.  It was not God's plan for us to miscarry, He did not cause the death of our child.  But, He did allow it, and He used it to bring us to a place of huge blessing!!!

So in May, when we told you how anxious, nervous, and excited we would be with preparation, we were right, it just looks a little different than we thought...

The process has begun for Brett and I to be foster parents! The first couple rounds of paper work & our first walk-through have been done! Our Christmas list has been made, and we are preparing to love on kids who may not know what that looks like, and hopefully point them in the direction of the One perfect Love we all need a little bit more of!!!

So pray for us as we prepare our hearts and home!