My baby NEVER cries

When we found out we were expecting, the biggest fear that developed inside of me was the fear (and knowledge) that I could never completely protect my child from this fallen world. 

So upon the news that we had lost our baby at 12 weeks, immediately I was overwhelmed with thoughts of inadequacy.

shame.

I asked "what is wrong with me!?"

"why couldn't I save my baby!?"

The answer...

Because Someone else did...

In the midst of heartbreak, my Lord, as usual, provides comfort...

Comfort in knowing that my child will NEVER know suffering.  

He NEVER knew pain

She was NEVER cold

He was NEVER hungry

She was NEVER alone

He was NEVER scared

She was NEVER sick

He was NEVER sad

She ALWAYS felt loved...

Today my heart has broke for so many children who are suffering,
Today I have seen babies with cancer,
babies being held down for tests,
babies with no food, 

babies with no clothes, 

babies with no families.  

I cried with them...tears for their pain, tears for my child's joy.  

Thank you Jesus for wrapping your arms around our baby!

"There’ll be no sorrow there,

No more burdens to bear,

No more sickness, no pain,

No more parting over there;

And forever I will be,

With the One who died for me,

What a day, glorious day that will be."

PS: I am still going to tell you about Costa Rica...But had this on my mind today!

Praise the God who gives and takes away.

These next two blogs may seem a little out of order, because chronologically; they are...

The last week in May we spent in Costa Rica serving with a team of 14 individuals who gave up their week for the Kingdom of God.  It was clear God's hand and provision was all over the trip from start to finish. 

However, the hours that immediately followed the end of our journey required much more faith and prayer.

Brett and I were just as excited for the week following the mission trip to Costa Rica.  This would be the week that we went to our first doctor appointment for our first pregnancy, and in the days following we would share the exciting news with our family and friends.

However, just 3 hours after returning home from Central America, we found ourselves in the emergency room hearing the devastating news that we were miscarrying our 12 week old blessing.  Instead of showing our friends and family our baby's new T shirt we bought in Costa Rica, and announcing the December arrival; we were asking for prayers for my recovery and our understanding of the plan the God had.

-I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

In a time when it is so easy to question God, His love couldn't be more evident!  Through the encouragement and prayers of friends and family, and most of all His Word, we have been able to find some comfort in an seemingly hopeless time.  I'm not saying we don't have questions, but despite the questions, we know Who is in control.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, 

so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

We are choosing to cling to the promise that He loves us, that He gives us His best.

-as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

What better way to praise Him, than to tell you of all the wonderful things He has and is doing in Costa Rica...      (see next post)