My baby NEVER cries

When we found out we were expecting, the biggest fear that developed inside of me was the fear (and knowledge) that I could never completely protect my child from this fallen world. 

So upon the news that we had lost our baby at 12 weeks, immediately I was overwhelmed with thoughts of inadequacy.

shame.

I asked "what is wrong with me!?"

"why couldn't I save my baby!?"

The answer...

Because Someone else did...

In the midst of heartbreak, my Lord, as usual, provides comfort...

Comfort in knowing that my child will NEVER know suffering.  

He NEVER knew pain

She was NEVER cold

He was NEVER hungry

She was NEVER alone

He was NEVER scared

She was NEVER sick

He was NEVER sad

She ALWAYS felt loved...

Today my heart has broke for so many children who are suffering,
Today I have seen babies with cancer,
babies being held down for tests,
babies with no food, 

babies with no clothes, 

babies with no families.  

I cried with them...tears for their pain, tears for my child's joy.  

Thank you Jesus for wrapping your arms around our baby!

"There’ll be no sorrow there,

No more burdens to bear,

No more sickness, no pain,

No more parting over there;

And forever I will be,

With the One who died for me,

What a day, glorious day that will be."

PS: I am still going to tell you about Costa Rica...But had this on my mind today!

Praise the God who gives and takes away.

These next two blogs may seem a little out of order, because chronologically; they are...

The last week in May we spent in Costa Rica serving with a team of 14 individuals who gave up their week for the Kingdom of God.  It was clear God's hand and provision was all over the trip from start to finish. 

However, the hours that immediately followed the end of our journey required much more faith and prayer.

Brett and I were just as excited for the week following the mission trip to Costa Rica.  This would be the week that we went to our first doctor appointment for our first pregnancy, and in the days following we would share the exciting news with our family and friends.

However, just 3 hours after returning home from Central America, we found ourselves in the emergency room hearing the devastating news that we were miscarrying our 12 week old blessing.  Instead of showing our friends and family our baby's new T shirt we bought in Costa Rica, and announcing the December arrival; we were asking for prayers for my recovery and our understanding of the plan the God had.

-I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

In a time when it is so easy to question God, His love couldn't be more evident!  Through the encouragement and prayers of friends and family, and most of all His Word, we have been able to find some comfort in an seemingly hopeless time.  I'm not saying we don't have questions, but despite the questions, we know Who is in control.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, 

so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

We are choosing to cling to the promise that He loves us, that He gives us His best.

-as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

What better way to praise Him, than to tell you of all the wonderful things He has and is doing in Costa Rica...      (see next post)

Who's story is it?

This past weekend was spent in Branson MO...

In ONE house...

3 adults...

with 15 teenagers...

and it was SOOOO refreshing!!!

Not the way you thought it would end was it!?  Well let me tell you that I know the greatest group of Godly kids/young adults.  We spent three FULL days at Young Christians Weekend at Silver Dollar City.  This is an annual trip for our youth group, but it was my first time to attend.

Through all the concerts, speakers, late night worship and roller coasters, one thing has really stuck with me.

During one of the messages we heard, a demonstration was made about some individuals' "stories."

Stories of young followers living for Christ, until dyeing for Christ.

The message ultimately was about discovering what OUR story would be.

I pray that my story, the story I live each day... I hope it is a story that

depicts the presence of the Holy Spirit,

Tells of God's unending love,

Glorifies His goodness,

Honors His Majesty...

I hope and pray that every page of my story, IS GOD'S STORY.

*Hawk Nelson did music for one of the services.

Jesus didn't die for you...

Jesus didn't Die for you...

I'm sure you have heard before, whether you believe or not, that "Jesus died for you."  

I'm writing this to those of you who have the same reaction I once did to that statement...

When I would hear this proclaimed I could not connect with the "big deal" it was made out to be.  Because to me, what is the big deal about dying if you know you're coming back to life? Anyone who would make this statement also believed that He had indeed rose again, and had not remained in death.  

For me, believing He died and rose again wasn't a difficult concept, it was understanding why His death was made out to be such a sacrifice; after all, He came back to life...

But, there is more...

Jesus did not just die... 

"But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed." - Isaiah 53:5

Jesus did not "die peacefully in His sleep." Jesus "death" lasted for days.  He was slowly mocked, shamed, beaten, and crucified.

A definition of crucify: to treat with gross injustice; persecute; torment; torture.  

Jesus received the worst torture one could have.  And to know he did it willingly...

 If anyone had the "power" to escape this treatment and ultimately that death, it was Jesus, but instead, He said "whatever your will is father."

He took it on, refusing anything to dull the pain, suffering until the final moment when he gave up his last breath.

"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit" 1 Pet 3:18

Jesus was laughed at...

Mocked...

Spit on...

Bruised...

Stabbed...

Beaten...

Tortured...

He bled...

Cried...

And Died FOR YOU and Me

And I choose to Live for Him.

Forever.

Eternally.

The girl you knew is Dying...

Dear Friends, 

Old and New, 

I have wondered at times, what you think when you see glimpses of my life today. 

Quite likely, it appears to be different then "when you knew me."

Truth is, it IS DIFFERENT.

Not because I am DIFFERENT, but because I am NEW.  

If you are thinking that I am unqualified, insufficient, undeserving, or unworthy of who I am today...YOU ARE RIGHT!

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has enabled me, because He counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry, although I was formerly a blasphemer

, a persecutor, and an insolent being; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever.

It is only because of Christ, and In Christ that I am who I am...

Getting a little closer everyday, to who I was meant to be...

The person you knew is dying a little everyday, and I could not be more ALIVE!

---1 Timothy 1:12-17--- 

 

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." -Gal 2:20

"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it." -  Mark 8:35

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." - 2 Cor 5:17

little Dreams

In my last post I referred to the quote that

"If what you're dreaming is possible even if God doesn't show up, then you are not dreaming big enough"

Well I after I wrote that I had a realization that what I was planning, wasn't big enough! 

My husband has wanted to host a concert as a fundraiser for a couple years.  Last spring I got on board and told him that we would do it for our developing non-profit (see previous post.)

But to be honest, I really didn't think it would be possible.  We didn't have so many of the necessary resources to put on an event such as this.

But I'm here to admit I did not consider the number one, and ONLY Source that we ever really need!

I was not dreaming big enough.

But thankfully Brett was!

And God did show up and the concert is going to happen!!!

March 13, 2015 in Melbourne, AR at the John E Miller Auditorium! 

The Start a Fire tour featuring 

UNSPOKEN

JONNY DIAZ & 

JJ WEEKS BAND

Purchase Tickets HERE

He doesn't need me.

When God asks you to do something, you can bet there will be work involved.  If it were something easy then we would have no need to ask for his help.

I'm also discovering, that a lot of things he asks of me, seem to be far from my wheel house.  Tasks I am clearly unqualified and seemingly incapable of.  But if He only asked the possible of us, then where would His glory come from?  Why would we need him? 

I read something..somewhere... Once that said if what you're dreaming is possible even if God does not show up, then your not dreaming big enough.

As God laid it on our hearts to start this missions organization, it was exciting. 

 But to be honest it has become extremely taxing.  I have read more legal words I don't understand than ones I do. In all my ignorance I didn't realize exactly what all it would involve to complete this process.

Daily I am reminded just how unqualified we are to do this.  

But we are not meant to do any task on our own. 

Through this process I am learning to be led by the One who chose us.

The One who leads us.

The One who is only asking us to obey.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UPDATE:    
-We have filed our Articles of Incorporation with the state.  This means we are officially a corporation called "We Arise Missions." 
-We have applied for and received our EIN.  Which is basically a number we need that identifies us with the IRS; the EIN is neccessary for the application to be a 501(c)3 organization. 
-Recently we have started filling out the 30+ page application for the IRS.  We are going to finish it to the best of our abilities and then find a CPA to go over it with us and finalize any changes needed before we submit it to the IRS.

Please pray for this process, some days I feel like we are in way over our head, but we just keep praying that God stays in control and leads and guides every step!

Also, we are nearing our first big financial deadline for the Costa Rica mission trip, we are all very excited!


“I am blown away that my God, who could do this all by Himself, would choose to let me be a little part of it.” - Katie Davis, Kisses from Katie